Not Defeated, Defined, or Destroyed

Hello sweet friends, I'm so glad you once again found yourself reading my blog (& for those of you who are checking in for the first time, welcome!) People often ask me why it is I don't write more frequently. For those of you who follow me know I only write once a month or so. That is because every topic I write about I want to be "the right one". I want my words to impact lives in a positive way. I want my blogs to be for enjoyment, but also for encouragement, inspiration, & a few light-hearted laughs. So, I've been thinking about this post for a while now, & this morning, it finally hit me. So here I am, sitting in a local coffee shop in El Dorado, Kansas, writing to you.

This is my second semester of college & it has been in absolutely every way, quite the experience. My freshman year has been a little bit different than others, as I go to school on a track scholarship. Which means, I'm a full-time student with a full-time job. I have often found myself wishing I was like "normal students" who go to class, then maybe work, or spend their afternoons lounging around watching Netflix. I find myself wishing that was me. There are more days than I can count that I feel like I just can't keep pushing anymore. I feel weak & burdened & ultimately defeated. College life-- along with hours of practice & training-- feels to be just about too much. 

And when that happens, I remember why I started. I remember that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this. That I could run (literally) with the best of them (& I have, I ran a 7.99 in indoor this season!!!). I remember that this experience is an opportunity; an opportunity to find, create, & grow myself. Every experience you are going through is ultimately an opportunity as well. You are not defeated.

As college, & life in general goes, we often find ourselves making mistakes. Some as small as skipping class to avoid a test, & others that are much larger. I'm not perfect, nobody is. Mistakes we have made seem to sneak in & try to remind us of how imperfect we are. Mistakes leave you feeling embarrassed, ashamed, & sometimes humiliated. It can become so bad that there seems to be no way out-- you feel labeled; defined.

Here's the catch, that is not true! Every mistake is a learning opportunity, & it is so important that we learn to see it that way! You are not your mistakes! You are exactly who God has called you to be! How undeniably amazing is it that God FORGIVES! He doesn't turn His back on us because we mess up here & there. When we mess up is when He opens His arms the widest, calling us into Him, to find rest & peace in His presence. We are humans, defined by God, not by man. Even with mistakes made, you are not defined.

Something I've found myself struggling with, personally, is being of good cheer when times get hard. I've embarked on what I like to call "my biggest adventure yet", which is leaving home, moving to a new state, on my own, & truly living MY life. That sounds appealing to most everybody, however, it can be quite scary, & sometimes lonely. Pressures weigh in from all directions, & it takes someone tough to overcome such pressures. It's very easy to feel beat down by the pressures of life. It's very easy to feel destroyed.

I've learned that I am not destroyed & neither are you!!! When I begin to feel destroyed, I remind myself & believe that I'm going through this for a reason. I believe I've been called for a specific purpose, & every hardship is just another way that I can relate to someone & lift someone up who is feeling the same way I have felt before. The same goes for you! You are not broken or destroyed, but only gaining scars to one day help someone else who has been cut the same way you were. It's not the end, brokenness is not a trait you carry. You are not destroyed.

At the end of the day, life is life. It's beautiful, romantic, & filled with passion. Yet there can be times that it seems dark & desolate. Those times will pass. Every time that you feel defeated, defined, or destroyed, remember, you are not stuck, you are not broken, & most importantly you are not alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long your tunnel may be. Keep your focus upwards, don't hang your head in sorrow. Appreciate every small victory. Savor the sweet moments in life, because I promise you, it's so worth it.

You are not defeated, defined, or destroyed.

Ashley